31) Tackling Obesity

I had all the securities of a fat kid and subject to a many a jokes right from primary school. Soon one starts to search for virtues within oneself and get into a shell to escape reality.

I still remember vividly my first few years in school. At kindergarten, the kids howl and mourn the sudden loss of freedom to the confinement of school. I was slightly more huge and it became to be conspicuously apparent by the first standard. My face was more rotund full of baby fat and as to the body; well I was most ungainly in sports. Soon, I was the “moti” of the class and the slur was bandied so much that it no longer hurt.

I was intelligent in the class as my rank never went below 5 in a class of over 40. That did my esteem good as other “physically correct” girls would come to borrow my notes. I would look at the mirror and I was appalled myself. I was just a good for nothing girl and as fatness was a punishment from God. What right do I have to complain or even mourn?

My mother was concerned about my self image and did her best to improve my self esteem. She would so often say even as I was critically examining myself before the mirror,” You are fat. So what, aren’t you more intelligent than the rest at school? You are more creative and your parents love you”. I would get so upbeat as to make monkey faces before the mirror as mom combed the hair as I got ready for the school. Believe it or not, the entire positivity would get crushed the moment someone said, “moti”.

My parents are the best in the whole wide world and they never tried explaining that I must accept my obesity and learn to look beyond. This singular handicap should not prevent me from being a good person and not develop my other talents. And if any of friends or acquaintance can’t see me beyond the weight, they were in any case not worth cultivating.

In school, I was winning all the debates and felt that everything about me was not so bad, after all. In college, I had the morbid fear of being left alone and “no boy will ever ask me out”. This insecurity went all through the graduation years. I was determined to lose weight and there again my sweet mother was on hand as we went walking together. She would cook low calorie food for the entire household and the efforts started to show. Slowly I was becoming confident on my ability to overcome obstacles.

I did my engineering and this time no one taunted me on my appearance. In fact, a couple of my classmates asked me for dates and those did my confidence a world of good. Today, this thing does not impinge me at all as my career as civil engineer keeps me busy on the road and my employers value my contribution.

I now realize that only a mind that has recovered from a deep hurt develops immunity and derives strength for the future. I still have my weight problem but they don’t overwhelm me like before.

Last month, my senior at work proposed and my plane of happiness is just taking off.