38) Handling Down’s syndrome

We had everything going for us. I first met my husband on the sprawling campus of IIM, Ahmedabad and now he is the Marketing Vice President in Reliance Industries. Ours was a marriage made in heaven; I started my career in Nestle and suddenly we are jumped couple of ladders on economic scale.

Having grown up in middle class backgrounds, we knew the value of money and the measure of our new found success. Buying the first car was an unforgettable occasion and for our honeymoon, nothing less than Switzerland would do.
Our problems began the day Vinay was born.
The doctors within a week pronounced,” Sorry, Mrs. Arvind Sharma. Your baby has Down’s syndrome and you need to take care for him differently”.

My husband completely collapsed on hearing the news. I didn’t know how to react as the bundle of trouble lay in front in the cradle unaware of the sorrow it brought.

Down’s syndrome is a case in which a baby has an extra chromosome. A normal baby has 46 chromosomes with each parent contributing 23 while Vinay had an extra chromosome number 21. That would cause the child’s learning to be slower, mobility and co-ordination with the muscles painfully stiff.

On doctor’s advice we put Vinay on a bottle feed in the first week as he did not know how to suck and it took a while for the baby to get used to breast-feed. My brothers were very supportive and gave examples of people with this affliction reaching stupendous heights.

I quit my job; this kid just cannot be left to a nanny or a granny. Vinay was making progress and at each stage seemed like a slow action replay of a normal kid. He would stare vacantly on the ceiling till we taught him to look at our faces. We would spend hours teaching him to smile and once there was slight movement of the lips, our joys engulfed over.

Vinay taught us a wonderful lesson: to be grateful for the things we take for granted. Brushing his teeth is a chore and so is having a bath. Even as a 10 year old, he needs me to button his shirt.

We put in a special school and he has fared well. Now, he draws endlessly and his speech though stuttered still communicates. Even my husband is proud of him and we have realistic expectations of Vinay. He will not go into an IIT and an IIM like his father but he will be useful to society. We don’t know what the future is in store but will shower him our love and help him find his vocation.

Aravind isn’t ashamed to take his child to the parties and Vinay is fast able to hold his own in the swimming pool.

As for me, I had mixed emotions about him but now can have no end of his accomplishment. Vinay has brought the entire family together and initial sympathy has now bonded to real love. These days we don’t even consider him a special child and he’s truly one of us.