41) Gender harassment at work

We shout from rooftops on woman’s liberation and how it’s progressed down the decades with women conquering one male bastion after the other. But has there really been a change in the mental attitude of men? No, if you go by my experience.

I graduated from BITs Pilani and went on to IIM, Kolkata. At both these places, boys and girls share a nice rapport and there isn’t a whiff of discrimination. Then joined a leading software company and within the next 5 years had postings in many European countries apart from touring Far East. Even before I was 27, I had the experience of working with people from across the globe. One soon learns that nationality is just a concept as you interact closely with Americans, UK, or South East Asians.

In my career, I did well and climbed the corporate ladder real quick: from team leader to manager and now Vice-President. I married a Brit and had a wonderful time till our daughter was born. She was afflicted with Down’s syndrome and my hubby just couldn’t take it and slowly we drifted to a divorce. Now Asha is my sole responsibility and needs a full time nanny for her care.

At work, I was transferred back to the corporate headquarters in Bangalore from Seattle and that’s when my problems and this story begin.

I report to a Director and he meant no good from the start. He was prone to make ugly passes at me, embarrass with needless comments on my hair style or the dress of the day. He ensured that I stayed late into the office on some silly pretexts or the other. I endured the daily slights hoping it to be a passing phase but my silence was soon misconstrued for acquiescence.

The torture went on unabated, greater in degree: the handshakes would linger longer and my personal zone invaded with backslaps or running his hands on my hair. All his antics did affect my morale and reputation too at the office; other colleagues kept away for fear of antagonizing the boss. One even said,” He thinks your easy conquest just because you are a single woman”.

I was depressed and helpless beyond words and needed the job for my daughter runs huge medical bills.

I contacted the personnel department and lodged a formal complaint. My boss was summoned and he laughed it out; how his friendliness was misinterpreted. My counter was that I had enough perceptiveness to differentiate between friendly banter and harassment; but was not keen to pursue the case if assured of no more abuses in future.

From that day on, I was a marked person and the boss actively trying to prove my incompetence at work before colleagues and even clients. Suddenly a key file would be lost or a PPT slides tampered with before a presentation. This time, I got no support from the HR and was forced to lodge a complaint with the state women’s commission.

They had their own investigating procedures and it took several meetings for them to conclude that I was a victim of harassment. The proceedings took over a year and in the meantime the company had fired me on the grounds of incompetence.

That was just the vindication I needed to get me back on my feet even as my boss was suspended. The company was forced into acting after the case appeared in the local papers.

I feel happy that I stood my ground and fought back to regain not only my self esteem but also the respect of my co-workers. Those 18 months were a torture – even the memory of the nightmares of those days makes me freeze in fear - but the victory was sweet indeed.

(As narrated by Ms. Kalpana Verma, leading software professional)