18) Boss from Hell

Many years ago, I had a newly promoted boss who was very ambitious. He wanted to look good at his work and got in his own team whom he promoted at the cost of old timers like me. That soon divided the office into “us” versus “them” and we were running for cover.

My boss summoned me and hinted that my work was not up to the mark. I was given no reason for dissatisfaction and no area for improvement -just a vague observation for one who has clocked more than a decade in the firm and whose previous works had come for acclaim and often quoted in the mainline press.

In this publication business, writers are the most insecure lot and this stress was ebbing the life out of me. I became paranoid and even my writing had become stale with the mind frantically searching for new ideas. Fear coupled with anxiety can immobilize the best of us but for a writer it is professional suicide as well to be overwrought with nerves.

At home, I had taken a large loan for my daughter’s medical studies and at mid 40s, it’s difficult to scout for a new job. I desperately needed the job as the mortgage still had a year to run and I was scared stiff of being fired. At work, all these pressures added up and I could do no better than stare blankly at the computer screen. Writing demands high level of concentration and it’s certainly no game for one who fantasies an impending financial catastrophe and those EMIs.

I tried the Art of Living course recommended by a friendly neighbour and that saved my career. My mind was so clogged but those schedules made me view my problems in a different light. Even if the worst were to happen, I would still not go hungry or remain roofless. I made a lot of friends from the course and joined them in the morning walks.

I made an inventory of all the positive actions in the day and awarded myself points when I did them even if it was as trivial as drinking coconut water. For a morning walk, I gave myself 5 marks, not eating anything between meals 5, and doing the AOL 10 etc. Each day I would aggregate this total and ensure that the next day I bettered that. Slowly, my confidence level grew to the level to meet my adversity.

At work, I churned out workmanlike articles sourced from the Internet and editing it to my advantage and in my style without sweat. Those were not great pieces but served the cause. Slowly, I got my concentration back and my writing started to flow once again. The last 6 months was a journey to hell and back but I somehow learnt to survive.

Yesterday was my birthday and I got the best gift: my boss has been transferred to another department.

(As narrated by Ms. Jyoti Singh, a respected media professional)